Author: partofHisstory.com

How many times have you heard that phrase, “you’ve got a lot to learn.” I have heard it innumerable times in a variety of contexts. I won’t dwell on the issue and will only provide a few examples. “Hey, you have a lot to learn about sharing your Legos” (still not easy). Or, “you really have a lot to learn about dating” (yikes- do people ever really figure it out?) “Dude, you have a lot to learn about marriage, family, kids” (usually all at once). I’m not quite there yet but this one is coming soon enough- “you need to learn how to relax, slow down, enjoy retirement.” And, finally, “you just need to learn to let go and be at peace with God.”

I think I may have roped you in on this. It really never ends…until life does. We need to learn something until we can no longer respond. I tend to think that we will be learning eternally but that is for another blog entry. My point is that we need to be open to growth as long as we live. Yet, in how many instances did we deny the need to learn and in the process limited ourselves. Even if it is clearly God that is issuing the statement. For example, “Glenn you have a lot to learn about forgiveness.” Or, “you have a lot to learn about love.”

In 2017 at the age of fifty-five I went back to school. My goal was to acquire a certificate in Thanatology. Beyond that was my desire to serve as a hospice chaplain. There was significant resistance internally as I battled myself to get to that place. I knew it would improve my chances of getting the position. But, my pride was kicking up to the nth degree. “I already have an M.Div. and experience as a pastor and hospital chaplain so why more school?” And, add to that the fact that I would be 30 or more years older than everyone in my classes. Not to mention the fact that I needed financial help just to attend. I made a deal with God at this point. If He would line it all up…I would go. I thought that it was a long shot. And, my wife and I said that if I EVER had to go back to school we would have to be in total agreement. So, that covenant would need to be made as well.

At the time, my daughter was attending the school where I would be going. She came up with the brilliant idea that we could go to campus together on the nights I would be attending. I mentioned to a close friend what my tentative plans were and he said he would provide funds for me to attend. My wife and I prayed about it for a while and agreed to proceed. 

It was a large challenge but a huge blessing. Studying again was daunting but a 4.0 in my coursework was very encouraging. Even more gratifying were the instances where my professors asked me for my opinions based on my experience and training.  Time and again they asked, “Glenn what do you have to teach the class?” And, then other students shared their questions and concerns after class. I became a free floating counselor which also reinforced my goals for ministry.

What would have happened if I had said, “I don’t need to learn anything else?” The older I get the more I realize just how much I still need to grow. This relates to heart, mind and spirit. 

I have given myself another challenge recently. I started taking music lessons at the age of 61. This was in the context of joining a choir again after about thirty years. At one point I said to myself, “you’ve got a lot to learn about reading music.” 

My question to you all at this point comes as a fill in the blank. I challenge you to fill in the blank in the following statement. “I have a lot to learn about ______.” If it is unclear to you  pray that God would help you fill in the blank. I believe that you will be blessed as you learn and continue to grow.

Blessings,

Glenn.

One of my earliest memories was an interaction that occurred on the playground. I was probably in second or third grade. A much larger child (who I did not know!) confronted me with a sour expression and said, “what are you smiling about?” I must have looked from side to side wondering if he was talking to me as I noted that the level of his anger rose. And, knowing me I probably laughed not necessarily at him but at the situation. He was not amused and I was not sure what to do. So, I did what one does with a bully. I did what he told me to do! I wiped the smile off my face!

I think that lasted for quite some time. At least when I noticed that he was nearby. I changed my behavior as I felt threatened. And, his statements made me feel stupid for having a smile on my face. Thankfully, I moved far away not long after and my smile slowly returned and the incident’s impact faded. Only years later did I recall how I had dealt with my first bully.

Sometimes even to this day I feel badly about my response to him. But, when I look back on it I can take a good lesson from it. I asked myself a few questions as I reflected on it. My first question to myself was: “why were you smiling?” I think my bully friend was not the first to ask that question. And, I am asked that question and it’s partner- “what are you laughing at?” very frequently. The answer is that I know that God is with me and loves me! I also know that my sins are forgiven and one day I will be present with Him in the “heavenly realms.” (Wow!!) I wish I had given that answer to the bully but I was too busy fearing for my life.

The second question I asked was, “why did it irritate him so much?” That one may be a bit more complicated. Maybe he really wanted to know why I was joyful and wanted to get on board. Maybe he did not want others to be happy when he was not…There are infinite maybes there.

In retrospect, I wish he could have learned the secret behind my smile.

The third question I asked myself was “what would a better response have been?” Yet, then I thought “give yourself a break you were 7-8 years old!” Yet, as an adult I look at this very differently. And, I generally respond as I wish I had back in the day. A passage from 1 Peter 3:15-16 informs me on this. It says, “Always be ready to give a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you. However, do so with gentleness and respect…” Offering a kind, patient answer about the object of our hope and joy is a great goal. It did not dawn on me as a child that it may have been a good “defense” against a bully. But, now I know what to say if someone says, “what are you smiling about?” And, under no circumstances will I stop smiling. And, I’ll aim to let others in on my “secret.” God’s gift is there for anyone who is willing to receive it. 🤓 Blessings→ Glenn.

In search of.. an original idea.

There was a show years ago that was hosted by someone many of you would know by his character’s name on Star Trek (and one of my favorites) Leonard Nimoy (Mr Spock). It was a “fascinating” show as it covered a wide range of items, individuals and creatures. For example, the Loch Ness monster and Big Foot. 

Something that I struggle with as I aim to write is to find something that is an original idea. Yet, the more I read the more I understand that most of what authors share has already been shared in one context or another over and over again. Not only has that occurred in situation comedies but, books, movies, plays and our own family scenarios. We don’t need to mention mistakes repeated time and again in our collective history. I think you get my drift.

I am not talking about plagiarism but common themes that continue to play out in our hearts and minds. I guess the important thing to realize is that each author is tied to a certain era…within a specific culture and according to their individual circumstances. And, each of us has a specific worldview that includes their view of God themselves and others (or the lack thereof). 

I think I’m coming to understand that I need to know myself very well in order to write clearly. I also need to know who I am writing to even as a public speaker needs to know his audience and a pastor needs to know his congregation. I think as with everyone else I play many roles: husband, father, son chaplain, pastoral caregiver, among others.

There is also the nature of my character that at times includes a quirky, dry sense of humor. But, also a reserved reflective manner which seem at odds with that. I sometimes seem like an introvert and at other times an extrovert.  When I’ve asked for feedback about myself I have been called winsome, smart, funny, well organized. Or, quiet, indecisive and absent minded. Most of us are not one-sided but multi-faceted. At times we are enigmatic or unique at the very least.

My likes and hobbies are captured pretty well in a caricature drawn by a college friend (Jeff Palmberg). He is a wonderful Pastor and gifted artist. A Bible should be added to the “tools” I typically use…and maybe somehow add a golf club as well.

My worldview and faith seem to have always meshed at least ever since I was a teenager. I have always believed that God created the world (and all of us!) and everything in it even down to the last grain of sand. Something that stuck with me from the time I was a child was the phrase “where is it written?” Whenever I found myself in a rough spot (which seemed to be quite often) I would turn to my Bible for the answers. Whether I was involved in a fight at school, struggling with depression, coping with the aftermath of a car accident I have found my answers there. I could, of course, create an exhaustive list but that’s a good summary.

If I look at my initial question of finding an original idea I realize there isn’t one!  The gospel that I find is the same that it’s always been. Jesus is still Jesus.  We might find different ways to contextualize the message. This has happened since Jesus’ disciples began sharing the Good News. 

My goal is not only to be an author but a Christian author. Believing as I do in Jesus being my Lord and Savior I want my writing to reflect my faith and His faithfulness. I need to reframe my desire for an original idea realizing that what God will say through me will be different. He made me to say things in a certain way, with a certain personality and with my own voice.

This should come as no surprise to me as on occasion in Seminary several of us preached on the same text. None of us said exactly the same thing. We did not use the same examples or share the same life experiences. But, Jesus was preached and the Gospel was shared faithfully.

It is written that if we seek God’s Kingdom first- we will be given what we need. And, even further to be granted the desires of our heart. With that in mind I think I have answered my own question.

My re-formulated title now would read: In Search of…what God would say through me!

So my last entry was entitled “who cut in on you?” And, sure enough I was cut in on from seemingly every direction!

I can include some spiritual warfare, some criticism from outside. And, most importantly and pernicious- from within! As an example of what happens let me use what happens inside when I play golf. Let me just say I don’t have the best “mental game.” I have been told I have a smooth swing. Most of the time it feels that way. But, it would be nice to put three nice swings together. I have been known to pull off some trick shots that even I don’t believe. “No I did not throw the ball out of the woods!” I have said. I recall C.S. Lewis’ “Screwtape Letters” and conceptualize my own little demon sitting on my shoulder telling me what I cannot possibly do. However crazy it may sound I have given “it” a name- that is “idgit.” As in “knock it off idgit.” Of course, I realize it is really me telling me what I cannot do which is more infuriating. I found though that most golfers (even the pros) need to go through some mental calisthenics to get from point a to point b. Especially as it relates to putting…But, that is merely my example of being side-tracked which is obviously easy to do…

My goal was to write a blog and perhaps other things. And, to open myself up to more ministry-related opportunities. And, I got derailed. It seems I am in good company. When the good is staring us in the face…evil is right there with us. When there are certain steps we need to take are clear we can become distracted. Obstacles and irritations occupy our time and we may give up.

In my golf outings this year which number three (9 holes each) I have had 2 birdies. I have not had a birdie since I was 17 years old. That says a lot about my mental game. My strategy was a) hit the ball as far as possible off the tee b) try to extricate myself from the woods! c) aim to drill it into the hole once on the green. I had not realized until recently that my “plan” was always one of attack which is very much at odds with my personality.

So, I have adjusted my strategy. I don’t think I ever realized that option! Irons off the tee instead of trying to cut a dog leg or go over trees…unheard of! But, hey 2 birdies in 27 holes compared to 1 birdie in 2700+ holes (estimate since started at 12 years old). Allowing for 2 putts instead of going for broke and double bogeys.

Am I older and wiser or becoming more self-aware or both? Probably. But, also when I feel that I am attacked from all sides I pray more. And, I ask what God is trying to reveal to me or asking me to change. Not anyone’s favorite questions I imagine. It is difficult. Becoming more or let’s say what God created us to be is painful. As we sometimes believe we are already there. Surely I am patient enough, kind enough. I have certainly gone through enough character building and suffering. Probably not! Jesus told his followers that in this world they would have trouble. And, sure enough! We cannot expect any less. But, he also said he would never leave us! He will come with us as we make difficult changes. He will be there as we face our weaknesses and sins time and again. He is there and won’t be bothered by an idgit. He has overcome the evil one and death itself!

The question to ask at this point is- “what is my life strategy?” What type of plan have we adopted? Are we even aware of how we ourselves operate? It is easy to continue doing what we have always done. But, have we allowed God to work in and through us? Or, is it entirely our game plan…how is that working out for us? Jesus is waiting for you to invite Him in. My guess is you will be surprised at the transformation and blessings.

None of likes to be “cut in on.” We like to be able to follow through on our plans and reach our goals. Even when we were children there was a rule “no cut-seys.” I can remember fights breaking out in the lunch room at school over this strict code while in middle school. As adults we are familiar with road rage seemingly without real provocation. Accidents are caused by lack of patience, courtesy or advanced planning.

In the Book of Galatians the Apostle Paul wrote, “You were running a good race. Who cut in on you and kept you from obeying the truth?” Here he is addressing people who have fallen away from the message of the Gospel. In Paul’s holy math Truth = Gospel = Jesus. 

There are so many ways to fall away from the Truth. But, here we are told that someone cut in on them. Someone distracted the Galatians and it was quite obvious. Because they fell back into their old patterns of behavior it was clear. Essentially the desires of the Self overtook them. Their eyes were not on Jesus but desiring to indulge themselves. These pursuits led them in the wrong direction. To Paul these things that led to Self or the Evil One = sin. More math that is glaringly apparent.

Paul gave his assessment with clarity yet with grace. For Paul’s aim was to teach and preach from many perspectives. He had been rich and poor, been a prisoner and free, a persecutor of Christ and now one of His best promoters.

His goal was that people would claim the gift of forgiveness and cling to the Gospel and the person of Christ. He encouraged the Galatians to reclaim their faith and to walk in freedom as a result. Walking in the right path requires discipline.

Asking myself the question, “who or what has cut in on me?” is key. I have never been able to preach or teach something without applying the same standard to my life. When I have attempted it I have hit a brick wall. Zippo, nothing comes…

Wow- many things…fear, procrastination, worry self-consciousness, mind-less activity (even before the internet!), lack of Bible study or relationship time with God. I am sure you may find others. Maybe there are some you are not entirely aware of. Or, maybe you know too well what has cut in on you. So, what do we do? Anybody? 

Self-awareness is certainly helpful if not mandatory. Accountability is a must. Self-forgiveness is necessary. And, turning from the wrong direction is pivotal. Repentance is really a very difficult but easy thing. At some point we have ALL pointed ourselves in the wrong direction. The Bible clearly points toward the right direction. The Gospels = Truth = Jesus are still in effect. What a beautiful equation that is!

So, then there is turning away from sin toward the Truth = Repentance = Freedom = Joy. That is certainly not the end of Biblical math. That leaves more for another day!

More than anything else Paul wanted us to realize we can always turn towards God. The stronger our relationship to Him the less likely it will be for others to cut in on us.

Blessings,

Glenn.

Of all the questions you’re going to possibly ask yourself especially the one word questions “Why” for me is the most irritating. It is such an open-ended question and leaves so much room for so many thoughts. It can lead you in so many directions. “Who?”, “Where?” “When?” Those questions could all be answered with one word but why?…That question came up this weekend at a writer’s conference I attended and I am still ruminating. Or, as you can see from the length of the entry I am working it out in your presence.

Why write? Almost immediately, of course, the question comes up: “why not write?” I can find many reasons why I shouldn’t write. For a recovering perfectionist things pile up pretty quickly. I won’t list those as it is exhaustive and exhausting. So, now that I’ve distracted myself from my purpose I’ll get back to the question at hand. For me writing has always come as an inspiration from God whether it be a sermon or a presentation or counseling interaction or even a prayer. It is less about me and more about Him.

So, the thing I struggle with at its root is being myself. This is what struck me after reviewing my notes from the conference. It was not all the details of “being published in a Christian market.” It comes down to that aggravating why question again. Why do I feel led to publish writings that have been piling up around me? Homilies (many never preached), Bible studies, devotionals, ideas for short stories and a large chunk of a novel, poems and on it goes…

I brought my fears to the group and stated them pretty openly. I was praised for my transparency and humor and I was greeted with the knowledge that most people feel the same way I do. Not only does their own fear stand in the way but there is one who works against us. The “father of lies”, “the evil one”, the one who will always tell you that you’re not good enough. Spiritual warfare is always at work versus those who aim to share God’s message.

Recently, I was sick with a virus and I thought quite seriously this was it for me! Being someone who’s always been called quick-witted, winsome and humorous I was struggling to adjust to what I thought was a new normal. With aches, pains, and memory losses I was praying with all my might for relief. I enlisted all the prayers warriors I knew to help. Doctors thought it may be various forms of arthritis or a tick got me…and on it went. I wondered how I could proceed but further how I could still encourage and be there for other people. Thankfully and as an answer to prayer my physical strength and my mental capacity has returned. That experience resulted in a feeling of gratitude! Yet, also showed me what gifts I had by noting the momentary loss of them.

Then, my second least favorite question pummeled me. That was “what if”(!?- yikes!!) clarity of mind, sense of humor and endless ideas for writing never returned. It would certainly be a huge loss to me. But, “what if” (there it is again!) those gifts were given to me to share with others.

From a Biblical point of view I had the story of the talents staring me in the face. Burying my talent and ending up with nothing was a frightening prospect! As a result I can answer the question of “why write.” It is the same answer to the questions of “why preach?”, “why teach?”, “why counsel?”, “why pray for others?”

The answer is: to be the writer God called me to be in order to bring glory to Him.

Blessings-> Glenn.

PS- if you want to be encouraged as a Christian writer contact: Clarice G. James & Lori Stanley Roeleveld

As a hospice chaplain it is part of my ministry to say hello and say goodbye to many people. It has been a privilege to get to know people of various backgrounds. It dawned on me the other day why it is so important to have the opportunity to say goodbye. And, why I encourage others to invest the time to do so with their friends and family members. As a child I was impacted by my inability to say goodbye to my beloved Mormor (Swedish for Mother’s Mother). She meant the world to me. Yet, in that period of time young children were not allowed to visit in the hospital. When she had her final visit to the hospital (having died there) I was left hanging. I did not attend the funeral either and so she essentially just disappeared from my life. I was left to fill in the blanks of what has happened and just imagine she took a direct route to heaven.

Years later I had a dream that changed things for me in a powerful way. It was in answer to a prayer. I said, “God show me what is holding me back and pulling me down” (as I experienced chronic depression since the time of her death but did not make that connection until much later).

Almost 20 years after her death I was asleep in a very dark room. Suddenly, I felt as if the room was flooded with light to the point that I could see it through my eyelids. I had the sensation of what a lobster might feel if it were alive and being dipped in warm butter. I felt as if a burden was lifted quite dramatically. At the same time I heard a voice singing in Swedish. As I awoke I realized I had been granted a grace filled dream of my Mormor.

The prayer for healing and release was answered in a profound way. It has fueled my ministry and desire to help others enjoy their final moments with those they love.

Blessings–> Glenn.

It has been a while since I have written a post but a lot has happened in the intervening time. I have notes everywhere for blog entries and a book that has been accumulating pages for years…

As a reintroduction- I am a hospice chaplain and have done an assortment of jobs to make ends meet over the years. I have included the list on LinkedIn so I won’t share in this context. Right now I am wondering if writing may provide some income at some point. That’s where I feel God is leading. I have recently realized something about myself though. That is: I am a recovering perfectionist. I have experienced a shift in perception lately from aiming for perfection to doing the best I can do in the moment. I have also always had an issue with the phrase “getting out of your comfort zone.” I don’t like it because a) that could cover a lot of territory b) maybe you can accomplish a lot right where you are according to the gifts you have c) it does not go far enough d) it does not allow for something way beyond us that only God can accomplish. The concept that I would rather reflect on is being willing to be remade time and time again according to God’s plan and purpose for us individually and as we relate to one another. The best visual aid I can think of is God as the potter and us as the clay. There may indeed be a level of uncomfortable-ness involved in the re-shaping. But, what marvelous transformations we can find in the Bible and in the lives of those around us.

This week I experienced being re-shaped and being blessed as a result. At a recent interdisciplinary group meeting our volunteer coordinator was looking for someone to sing a favorite hymn for one of our patients. I said that I could do it as I sang in the choir (and had done so occasionally when patients or family members requested it). I did not anticipate that it would include sharing the interaction on Facebook! Although I have preached hundreds of sermons, led many meetings and services the thought of singing a solo still causing significant angst. Well I enlisted the choir to teach me the hymn that was written in 1858. “Stand Up, Stand Up for Jesus” was the hymn. I don’t think it was a coincidence that about a week prior to this I had prayed for opportunities to say the name of Jesus out loud. A week prior to my Facebook singing debut I visited the dear lady that I would sing for. Her faith is very clear and she shares it with everyone! I asked her about her favorite hymn and her answer surprised me. She said, “Jesus Loves Me This I Know.” She proceeded to say it was because “I know it is true.”

Needless to say, when the day arrived I told her that she would receive a few more people at our visit. She was very welcoming and shared her love of the church, Jesus and family. It wasn’t the hymn that I practiced but the impromptu duet (Jesus Loves Me”) that she and I sang that was quite lovely and memorable. I forgot about my fear as I was singing for and with my dear friend. The volunteers who came with me were blessed by her expressions of faith and her care of them! What a wonderful expression of God’s love and power through her!!

Blessings,

Glenn.