Of all the questions you’re going to possibly ask yourself especially the one word questions “Why” for me is the most irritating. It is such an open-ended question and leaves so much room for so many thoughts. It can lead you in so many directions. “Who?”, “Where?” “When?” Those questions could all be answered with one word but why?…That question came up this weekend at a writer’s conference I attended and I am still ruminating. Or, as you can see from the length of the entry I am working it out in your presence.
Why write? Almost immediately, of course, the question comes up: “why not write?” I can find many reasons why I shouldn’t write. For a recovering perfectionist things pile up pretty quickly. I won’t list those as it is exhaustive and exhausting. So, now that I’ve distracted myself from my purpose I’ll get back to the question at hand. For me writing has always come as an inspiration from God whether it be a sermon or a presentation or counseling interaction or even a prayer. It is less about me and more about Him.
So, the thing I struggle with at its root is being myself. This is what struck me after reviewing my notes from the conference. It was not all the details of “being published in a Christian market.” It comes down to that aggravating why question again. Why do I feel led to publish writings that have been piling up around me? Homilies (many never preached), Bible studies, devotionals, ideas for short stories and a large chunk of a novel, poems and on it goes…
I brought my fears to the group and stated them pretty openly. I was praised for my transparency and humor and I was greeted with the knowledge that most people feel the same way I do. Not only does their own fear stand in the way but there is one who works against us. The “father of lies”, “the evil one”, the one who will always tell you that you’re not good enough. Spiritual warfare is always at work versus those who aim to share God’s message.
Recently, I was sick with a virus and I thought quite seriously this was it for me! Being someone who’s always been called quick-witted, winsome and humorous I was struggling to adjust to what I thought was a new normal. With aches, pains, and memory losses I was praying with all my might for relief. I enlisted all the prayers warriors I knew to help. Doctors thought it may be various forms of arthritis or a tick got me…and on it went. I wondered how I could proceed but further how I could still encourage and be there for other people. Thankfully and as an answer to prayer my physical strength and my mental capacity has returned. That experience resulted in a feeling of gratitude! Yet, also showed me what gifts I had by noting the momentary loss of them.
Then, my second least favorite question pummeled me. That was “what if”(!?- yikes!!) clarity of mind, sense of humor and endless ideas for writing never returned. It would certainly be a huge loss to me. But, “what if” (there it is again!) those gifts were given to me to share with others.
From a Biblical point of view I had the story of the talents staring me in the face. Burying my talent and ending up with nothing was a frightening prospect! As a result I can answer the question of “why write.” It is the same answer to the questions of “why preach?”, “why teach?”, “why counsel?”, “why pray for others?”
The answer is: to be the writer God called me to be in order to bring glory to Him.
Blessings-> Glenn.
PS- if you want to be encouraged as a Christian writer contact: Clarice G. James & Lori Stanley Roeleveld
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